AMERICA LIES!

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.
ZIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
I come to America under pretenses that shout FALSE!
I walk my poodle Timmy today at 8 a.m. IN THE MORNING, and what do I see. Women jogging with heaphones and training bras and crusty old jogging shorts. Pish! Such arrogance! Such blatant disregard for style! Such terrible taste!
Next I see men jogging, in 'ze same outfits! Minus 'ze training bras.
But 'ze most infuriating, 'ze most outrageous, 'ze most disappointing fact...

NO MOUSTACHES.
No handlebars, no Grouchos, no pencil-thin lines, no chinstrap-goatee combos, no pirate curls, PISH! PISH POSH! LIES!

I am sorry. I lost my temper.
I 'ave come to a conclusion.
'Ze moustache has died. Finite.
Rest In Peace, I shall miss you.
America kills my dreams.