Mustache of 'Ze Week #2!

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.

I 'ave chosen a 'zis week's "MUSTACHE OF 'ZE WEEK".
I must confess. Choosing a weener of 'zis contest is much difficult thing to do.
'Ze competition is so stiff!... not to mention stiffening
aha aha ha. I am so naughty.

Without further ado, or adieu, le mustache of 'ze week!

Salvador Dali was crazy crazy loco, and his facial hair confirms his insanity.

Although his style is old, how you say, school 'is mustache is wacky, and contains a certain sense of pinache.
'Zat is why 'zis crazy arteest wins MUSTACHE OF 'ZE WEEK!

Also, I will be attending a foot baller game tomorrow!
Men in tights, sweating and pushing everyone around...
It is certain to be, how you say, exciting!
I will post of my endeavors!

'Til next time.
-'Ze Snooty Frenchman

Aha aha hahaha aha...

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.
Patooty.
Bafooty.
Aha, ahaha.

'Ze most marvelous thing happened to me. Tonight.
'old on, I must have tasty snacks.
'Zer is nothing better 'zan tasty snacks.
Mm. Green Bean Crisps and Tostitos Con Queso.
Almost as good as Tom Selleck.
Aha, ahaha.
I was out celebrating weeth Timmy about reinventing 'ze mustache in America, and we saw 'ze most marvelous establishment.
It was called "Mustache Ride" and all 'ze men had some sort of mustache. I assume some of 'ze ladies were wearing fake ones,
'zo I cannot seem to recall any at 'ze moment.
Everyone was so friendly! I did not 'ave to fill my glass once 'ze entire night!
I love America!
Ah, 'zis queso is delicious. I think it's cheese. My fingers are like tiny vienna sausages.
And on 'ze way out, 'zis man with one of 'ze finest mustaches I had ever seen offered me an American cigarette. And a ride on his motorcycle for 1 dollar. On his handlebars or some rediculous part I declined 'ze ride (so unsafe!), and complimented 'is leather.
Ah 'ze cigarette! It made me so 'ungryyyyy.
I can hear my eyelashes. Aha, hahaha.
Ahh, I must go. 'Ze fridge... It beckons me.

Adieu!

I 'Ave Come To Save 'Ze Day.

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.

(Sigh).
I am brilliant.
I am all that AND a bag of tart lemon crisps!
Bow to me, but don't kiss my feet. 'Zey are gross.

I 'ave decided to save 'ze mustache in America.
My strategy:
Every week I will peruse the interweb searching for one worthy of 'ze honorable title of "Mustache of 'Ze Week".
It WILL become a sensation.
It WILL become a hit.
I WILL be renowned as 'ze savior of 'ze king of all facial hair, and crowned in glory by fuzzy lipped men with class, with style... with dignity.

As you can see I 'ave begun 'ze tradition already, and 'ze more than rightful king of coarse brown curly goodness is the one, the only, that 'airy beast of a man is Tom Selleck.
Week two 'as marvelously delicious shoes to fill.

I am a genius.
Thank me with bloques of cheese, and kibble treats for Timmy.

'Til Next Time-

The Snooty Frenchman.

AMERICA LIES!

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.
ZIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
I come to America under pretenses that shout FALSE!
I walk my poodle Timmy today at 8 a.m. IN THE MORNING, and what do I see. Women jogging with heaphones and training bras and crusty old jogging shorts. Pish! Such arrogance! Such blatant disregard for style! Such terrible taste!
Next I see men jogging, in 'ze same outfits! Minus 'ze training bras.
But 'ze most infuriating, 'ze most outrageous, 'ze most disappointing fact...

NO MOUSTACHES.
No handlebars, no Grouchos, no pencil-thin lines, no chinstrap-goatee combos, no pirate curls, PISH! PISH POSH! LIES!

I am sorry. I lost my temper.
I 'ave come to a conclusion.
'Ze moustache has died. Finite.
Rest In Peace, I shall miss you.
America kills my dreams.

The Snooty Frenchman Debuts

Oui Oui.
Snooty Snooty.
'Ello America, I 'ave arrived.
A brand new set of ninny knickers and one lovely red ascot, straight off 'ze boat.
America ees a silly place.
France ees a silly place.
I 'ave a silly moustache.
We will get along famously.
Or else.
Zat ees all.